I speak this to my own shame

This morning was the first morning in a while where I was able to sleep in (8:15) and go out on our deck and spend time in the Word and praying through the Psalms of the day.  I have struggled in this area and I know many people struggle here for consistency.  I think the biggest frustration that I face is that when I sit down to read, that I feel pressed by time and that I have to get to work… Today was different because I did not have anything making demands on my time.  I guess it is the tyranny of the urgent that draws me away.  The other frustration when I sit to read is that I will not have enough time to read with intention and to be able to think about what I am reading, rather I struggle with how much time do I have.

Sometimes, I think that if I were in ministry, that this would not be true because I would be able to take the necessary amount of time to read through and meditate on a passage, but something tells me that might not be true either.  Right now, I “punch” the clock and have to account for every hour that I am at work (secular).  In ministry, it is different, you are not “punching” the clock so to speak, you are accountable for your time, but not to the extreme as in a secular job.

I know that I am not the only one who struggles in this area.  Anyone else care to be transparent?


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